18．If you have a daughter，take the time to read this．It could save her a lot of heartache．Not to mention stomach aches，headaches，missed days of school，lower grades，eating issues and depression．
The sad truth is that every school，whether public or private，has mean girls．I bet you can still even remember who they are from your school．As a school consultant and mother of three daughters，I know firsthand both personally and professionallyhow much it hurts when girls are targeted by bullies（恃強凌弱者）．
The old saying"sticks and stones may break my bones，but words will never hurt me，"couldn't be further from the truth．While boys usually bully through intimidation （脅迫），girls bully through exclusion，also called relational aggression．Here's an example of a case of relational bullying，taken from my experience as a school consultant：
"Heather"was miserable because a girl in her class，"Leslie，"was not only saying mean things to her face，but getting the other girls in the class to exclude her with the age old line"You can't be friends with me，if you're friends with her．"In our sessions，Heather would complain that she didn't have anyone to play with because girls were afraid that if they hung around her they'd become Leslie's next target．
In order to improve the situation，I had to not only reduce the power Leslie had，but empower Heather as well．Here are some ideas that helped，adapted for use by parents：
Ask for specifics when your daughter mentions bullying．Who？Where？How？
Tell the principal and classroom teacher the specifics of how she is being bullied．Have them tell other teachers （i．e．，gym，art，music），hallway monitors and cafeteria staff so that everyone who comes in contact with her can be on the lookout and ready to interfere．
Explain to her that reporting an incident is not the same as tattling（打小報告），and have her tell an adult at school when she is being bullied．
Teach her to convey self-confidence by walking confidently，with her head up．Bullies target those they think are weaker．
Arrange opportunities for your daughter to socialize with her friends outside of school to help her maintain a strong social support system．
In Heather's case，these steps relieved the problem．But because it's tougher to catch girl bullies，it's extremely important for girls to tell an adult if they are being bullied．Unlike boys，who usually bully physically，mean girls often spread rumors，whisper as their target walks by，talk loudly about a party she wasn't invited to，give her the silent treatment，and as discussed above，tell others not to be friends with her．School personnel are there to help，but in order to do anything they must know a problem exists!
| Bullying from mean girls |
| Passage outline | Supporting details |
| Different forms of girl bullying | ◇refusing to （71）include someone in groups
◇（72）threateningothers not to befriend someone
◇spreading rumors about someone
◇treating someone with （73）coldness |
| Bad effects of girl bullying | ◇causing the victims to suffer both physically and （74）mentally
◇leading to the （75）declinein the victims'school performance |
| （76）Suggestions/Tips/Adviceon fighting against girl bullying | ◇Get （77）specificinformation about the bullying．
◇Inform the school staff to interfere with bullying．
◇Encourage kids to （78）seekhelp when bullied．
◇Develop confidence in your kids to （79）avoidshowing weakness．
◇Help kids to gain support by （80）socializingwith friends． |
| Conclusion | The problem of girl bullying can be solved by joint effort． |
