Question

寒假期間，你和你的家人或朋友去哪兒度假了？談?wù)勀阏J(rèn)為寒假期間最有趣的一次旅行，說(shuō)說(shuō)你的所見(jiàn)所聞，同時(shí)你對(duì)暑假旅行又有什么期待和計(jì)劃呢？（詞數(shù)80左右)
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Answer 1

I had a good time during the winter holiday. My family and I went to the west lake and saw beautiful scenery. We went sightseeing, shopping, enjoyed some special snacks and learned more about the culture and history of Hangzhou city. To my joy, I made a few new friends there. The most important is that I had a good rest.and enjoyed ourselves! I want to visit the Great Wall during the coming summer holiday. Maybe then we will have a better time and learn more about our culture.

試題分析：這是一篇開(kāi)放作文。本文要求文章的提示并結(jié)合自己的寒假經(jīng)歷完成這篇作文，我們要用恰當(dāng)?shù)恼Z(yǔ)言把所列舉的內(nèi)容準(zhǔn)確地表達(dá)出來(lái)。寫(xiě)作中要包含寒假中和家人的旅游地方，表達(dá)出旅行中的所見(jiàn)所聞，并寫(xiě)出暑假中旅行的期待和計(jì)劃等方面進(jìn)行陳述，表達(dá)出自己的觀點(diǎn)等。根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容可知本文主要是一般過(guò)去時(shí)態(tài)，人稱(chēng)主要是第一人稱(chēng)，注意并列連詞的使用及主謂一致問(wèn)題。寫(xiě)作中注意上下文的過(guò)度，符合邏輯關(guān)系。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】這篇短文簡(jiǎn)明、扼要地描述了自己的寒假旅行歷程，并表達(dá)出了暑假的期待和計(jì)劃，符合文中的要求。其中使用了一些固定句式和短語(yǔ)，包含表語(yǔ)從句的準(zhǔn)確使用是本文的一大亮點(diǎn).如To my joy，The most important is that I had a good rest.and enjoyed ourselves!，have a better time，學(xué)習(xí)中再注意總結(jié),牢記一些固定句式及短語(yǔ),寫(xiě)作時(shí)就可以適當(dāng)引用,使文章的表達(dá)更有邏輯性,更富有條理。